I may be more parasitical than I had previously known. In fact, I find that I have a lot in common with the parasitic female jewel wasp.
In an attempt to get her way, the jewel wasp selects the object of her desire and then she impairs her “loved one’s” ability to initiate movement of its own accord.
Ha! How many times have I been accused of that?
Then she grabs his antenna and directs his steps to go where she wants him to go, at the speed she wants him to move.
In fact, our similarities don’t stop there. After she takes control of her new “partner,” she guides him back to her home where she lays her eggs on him and seals them both inside her nest.
This gives new meaning to the word “nesting.” Yet another way in which I see myself in this gem of a parasite: control and nesting, two of my most favorite things! Which is what makes today all the harder. I just sent my twelve-year-old off in the backseat of a pickup truck pulling three tons of horses to travel ten miles of mountainous terrain in the Oregon woods. I could have gone with her, but how would that have stopped the parasite inside? No, I had to starve this one out and give up my attempt to use my daughter’s pigtails as reins in the trail ride of my life.
So now that I’m done crying to my husband, I’m going to rejoice that I’m no longer omnipotent in my child’s life. In fact, while I’m at it I might as well accept the fact that I’m not even partialipotent, (is that a word?) in controlling those I love.
Rats! Controls my thing.
But I’m going to get a new thing now, surrender. Yeah, that’s the plan. Surrendering my cockamamie idea of sovereignty in favor of trusting the sovereign One who has been in control this whole time, unbeknownst to me apparently. “The steps of a man are established by the LORD, when he delights in his way; though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the LORD upholds his hand.” (Psalm 37:23–24) His hand on my child is certainly more powerful and faithful than my hand ever will be. So today I say goodbye to control as I myself reach up to take hold of my Father’s hand.