If you were a Disney princess which one would you be?
My daughter has been using these apps to help me discover my inner Disney for a few weeks now. I usually end up most like Belle, must be the bookworm thing, but I’ve noticed that they are missing my true inner princess in the Disney brand, the Princess and the Pea, that’s me.
Do you know her? She’s the frail little thing that is so averse to discomfort that she can feel a tiny pea through ten mattresses. That’s my homegirl.
No, my biggest fear isn’t public speaking, it isn’t death, it isn’t even losing a child, it’s discomfort! So you can imagine how I’m feeling right now, the day before my first colonoscopy.
Stupid idea, this recon into the bowels of my. . . well, bowels. Frankly, I’d rather die in blissful ignorance than have to go through a video documentary of the first exploration of my personal and private sewer line.
But that’s not the worst part, or so I hear, it’s the prep, which begins today!
I went to prep school, but that didn’t prepare me for this. The idea of having the almost-dry heaves from the wrong end of my body freaks me out. You mean to tell me that in the last fifty years of medicine no one has figured out a better way to do this? I did find out about using a MRI machine instead of the scope, and I asked my doc to let me do that, but she said I wasn’t a candidate. Well maybe you’re not a candidate either Miss Stupid McDoctorface!
Ahem, seems I might need a prescription of scripture about now…
So this morning I was reading about Moses and the Israelites and how they panicked in the desert. And as I thought about them, I imagined a long wandering line of men, women, and children as a colonoscope wandering through the desert taking out polyps of enemies that were in their way. Even though that’s what they were destined to do, they were scared and thought the inhabitants of the land were too big to beat.
I know the feeling.
So as I begin my prep, I’m going to march around the bathroom seven times and then settle in for the “walls” to come tumbling down. All I have to do is sit there and trust God (and Miralax) is in control.
May the trumpets sound!
Bonus inspiration: Keep Walking!