Ok, confession time: I’m feeling very lonely.
I’m missing a forever friend, a BFF as they say.
Let me just tell you, you cannot get one of those if you don’t put your name on one by the time you’re out of school. High school preferably, but college is the drop dead date for securing your own BFF. After that they are all taken! And it’s not as easy as getting a man. I was 37 and single, and though single men were few and far between at least I knew I could have my pick of divorceés if I waited long enough. But good luck finding a BFF that’s been dumped. “Friends are friends forever,” or some junk like that. Even if they are separated by a long distance, with Facebook, Instagram, and texting they’re still able to remain locked at the hip.
I know all this because I’ve been on a BFF search for over twelve years now.
Over twelve years in the wilderness of semi-rural suburbia in Tennessee.
Twelve years ago; that’s when I got married and realized I couldn’t have a man for a BFF anymore, so I got started on my gender-correct BFF search decades too late. At first, I was a true believer in finding my forever girlfriend. I can remember going to circle time with my two-year-old and scanning the crowd for my potential soul sister, like that one guy at a church singles group. At least that’s how I felt. I’d smile at her, she’d look down quickly and correct her baby. I’d scoot closer on the floor so our kids could become friends, figuring that might be a back door into the whole thing. But they’d just scoot away from the creepy lady.
I think we need to come up with mandatory BFF rings, face tattoos, or something so a girl knows if a woman is taken or not. It would save me a lot of heartache.
“Do you wanna have a playdate?”
“Who me? Uh, I’m spoken for…” *pointing to her Pandora BFF charm while scanning the room* “STACIE!! LET’S GO GET LUNCH!”
In the immortal words of Def Leppard, “Love bites, love bleeds.”
If only I’d have known she was taken, I wouldn’t have wasted all that time smelling her hair and complimenting her shoes.
Ok, I know I’m not really that alone, I have some peeps; I’m now part of a great church where M is a teaching pastor, but I’m the new girl again, so it’s going to take some time. I’ve got my eye on a few of them, but I’m trying to control the inner creep of this long-time “single” Norwegian female.
Pray for me. Pray for them.
So to all my unattached, dumped, or chronically-rejected sisters out there: I feel you.
And I’m available.